Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.

Quote by Bill Maher

Topics: Sex Quotes

The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs

The Bible looks like it started out as a game of Mad Libs

This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich...

This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich...

Men are only as loyal as their options

Men are only as loyal as their options

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

And to answer the question that people have about this conspiracy theory that he has...

I don't want my president to be a TV star. You don't have to be...

I don't want my president to be a TV star. You don't have to be...

If I wanted to have wooden sex with strings attached I'd get married. In reference...

If I wanted to have wooden sex with strings attached I'd get married. In reference...

If you were on a sinking ship and yelled, Women and children first! how much...

If you were on a sinking ship and yelled, Women and children first! how much...

To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's...

To me a real patriot is like a real friend. Who's your real friend? It's...

This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something...

This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something...

Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the...

Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the...

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will...

Maybe every other American movie shouldn't be based on a comic book. Other countries will...

I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is...

I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is...

Men are only as loyal as their options.

Men are only as loyal as their options.

We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.

We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.

We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying...

We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying...

What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country.

What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country.

Theyre talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place thats used by ten or...

Theyre talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place thats used by ten or...

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit.

These then are my last words to you. Be not afraid of life. Believe life...

These then are my last words to you. Be not afraid of life. Believe life...

I love how when my soap runs out in the shower, my shampoo magically transforms...

I love how when my soap runs out in the shower, my shampoo magically transforms...