Late night television is ready for someone like me... standards have gone to an all-time low.

Quote by Howard Stern

Topics: Television Quotes

Yes, I believe blue material is funny, but if that's all you've got, you're dead...

Yes, I believe blue material is funny, but if that's all you've got, you're dead...

Well, first of all, I'm worth every penny.

Well, first of all, I'm worth every penny.

I don't think there's one thing I've ever said on the radio that would have...

I don't think there's one thing I've ever said on the radio that would have...

I think I'm probably a little too desperate to be successful.

I think I'm probably a little too desperate to be successful.

I seem to be some sort of lightning rod. I just really irritate people, you...

I seem to be some sort of lightning rod. I just really irritate people, you...

When you hire me, you hire a nut who is going to work 24 hours...

When you hire me, you hire a nut who is going to work 24 hours...

There are things that I won't do on the radio. I mean, the next logical...

There are things that I won't do on the radio. I mean, the next logical...

'The New York Times' list is a bunch of crap. They ought to call it...

'The New York Times' list is a bunch of crap. They ought to call it...

I believe I am doing the work for humanity. This show is so uplifting.

I believe I am doing the work for humanity. This show is so uplifting.

I will never feel successful.

I will never feel successful.

We are busy planning the launch of the channel. I am busy planning all kinds...

We are busy planning the launch of the channel. I am busy planning all kinds...

And rather than hide that, I would rather put that out on the radio and...

And rather than hide that, I would rather put that out on the radio and...

I don't like being 50 and I don't like thinking about death.

I don't like being 50 and I don't like thinking about death.

I'm on the air five hours, and I blurt out anything in my head. Dangerous?...

I'm on the air five hours, and I blurt out anything in my head. Dangerous?...

I think people of lesser talent will become stars.

I think people of lesser talent will become stars.

I don't talk about my salary.

I don't talk about my salary.

I'm sickened by all religions. Religion has divided people. I don't think there's any difference...

I'm sickened by all religions. Religion has divided people. I don't think there's any difference...

I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the...

I am against religion because it teaches us to be satisfied with not understanding the...

To fall in love is to create a religion that has a fallible god.

To fall in love is to create a religion that has a fallible god.

[I]f we and our posterity reject religious instruction and authority, violate the rules of eternal...

[I]f we and our posterity reject religious instruction and authority, violate the rules of eternal...