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Lois: Peter, why would they make you president? Peter: Maybe its because I can recite...

Lois: Peter, why would they make you president? Peter: Maybe its because I can recite...

Dear McGyver: Enclosed is a paper clip, a rubber band, and a drinking straw. Please...

Dear McGyver: Enclosed is a paper clip, a rubber band, and a drinking straw. Please...

Quagmire: Hey there, Gorgeous, how old are you? Connie: Sixteen. Quagmire: Eighteen? Connie: Mom! Quagmire:...

Quagmire: Hey there, Gorgeous, how old are you? Connie: Sixteen. Quagmire: Eighteen? Connie: Mom! Quagmire:...

Hey, Mother! I come bearing a gift. Ill give you a hint: its in my...

Hey, Mother! I come bearing a gift. Ill give you a hint: its in my...

Sorry Meg. Daddy loves ya, but Daddy also loves Star Trek, and in all fairness,...

Sorry Meg. Daddy loves ya, but Daddy also loves Star Trek, and in all fairness,...

Whats this? Blueberries! Oh, oh my G... Oh, thats better than sex! -Stewie Griffin

Whats this? Blueberries! Oh, oh my G... Oh, thats better than sex! -Stewie Griffin

When I stick this army guy with the sharp bayonette up my nose, it tickles...

When I stick this army guy with the sharp bayonette up my nose, it tickles...

Chris: Hey, little dude, you want some ice cream? Stewie: Yes, but no sprinkles. For...

Chris: Hey, little dude, you want some ice cream? Stewie: Yes, but no sprinkles. For...

Im so hungry I could ride a horse. I dont get it. Well, I could...

Im so hungry I could ride a horse. I dont get it. Well, I could...

I want pancakes! God, do you people understand every language except English? Yo quiero pancakes!...

I want pancakes! God, do you people understand every language except English? Yo quiero pancakes!...

Stewie: What the hell is this? Lois: Sweetie, thats tuna salad. Stewie: Oh, is that...

Stewie: What the hell is this? Lois: Sweetie, thats tuna salad. Stewie: Oh, is that...

Police blotter: We have a gang shooting on 3rd and Main. Three wounded, one dead....

Police blotter: We have a gang shooting on 3rd and Main. Three wounded, one dead....

Lois: Good, I dont have to cook. Peter: Oh, no, go ahead and cook anyway,...

Lois: Good, I dont have to cook. Peter: Oh, no, go ahead and cook anyway,...

And Joe, Ive had new neighbors before, but none of them were half the man...

And Joe, Ive had new neighbors before, but none of them were half the man...

Peter: Cant we tell them that your mother died? Lois: Peter, Im not gonna lie...

Peter: Cant we tell them that your mother died? Lois: Peter, Im not gonna lie...

Ive sprouted another finger. Counting the one from yesterday, Im up to 11. -Baby Stewie

Ive sprouted another finger. Counting the one from yesterday, Im up to 11. -Baby Stewie

Dear diary: Jackpot. -Glen Quagmire

Dear diary: Jackpot. -Glen Quagmire

I had such a crush on her. Until I met you, Lois. Youre my silver...

I had such a crush on her. Until I met you, Lois. Youre my silver...

Meg: Excuse me, Mayor West? Adam West: How do you know my language?

Meg: Excuse me, Mayor West? Adam West: How do you know my language?

Stewie: Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.

Stewie: Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.