It's a weird sensation to be mad and learning at the same time.

Quote by Jeff Foxworthy

Topics: Jeff Foxworthy Quotes

Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts.

Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts.

I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of...

I've been to all 50 states, and traveled this whole country, and 90 percent of...

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to...

I used to say that whenever people heard my Southern accent, they always wanted to...

I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year...

I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year...

If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.

If you've ever made change in the offering plate, you might be a redneck.

What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.

What I hated was doing what somebody in LA thought Jeff Foxworthy ought to do.

I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family...

I say, If everybody in this house lives where it's God first, friends and family...

You might be a redneck if ...the blue book value of your truck goes up...

You might be a redneck if ...the blue book value of your truck goes up...

I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of...

I had to perform at the White House for the president, That's always kind of...

If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you...

If your neighbors think you're a detective because a cop always brings you home, you...

I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine weeks in Vancouver and...

I turned down a movie this summer because it was nine weeks in Vancouver and...

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

That's the great thing about a tractor. You can't really hear the phone ring.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

You may be a redneck if... your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in...

When you get to your third millionth frequent flyer mile, I think something snaps in...

The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you...

The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job, but if you...

My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel....

My father-in-law gets up at 5 o'clock in the morning and watches the Discovery Channel....

The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked...

The designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked...

Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.

Being a comedian, people tell me stuff they shouldn't tell their therapist.

I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it,...

I refuse to this day to do e-mail because everybody I know that does it,...

Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're...

Changing a diaper is a lot like getting a present from your grandmother - you're...