Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
Quote by Russell Baker
Russell Baker Quotes
Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.
I gave up on new poetry myself 30 years ago when most of it began...
Americans like fat books and thin women.
Poetry is so vital to us until school spoils it.
Ah, summer, what power you have to make us suffer and like it.
People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately.
When it comes to cars, only two varieties of people are possible - cowards and...
Don't try to make children grow up to be like you, or they may do...
The goal of all inanimate objects is to resist man and ultimately defeat him.
The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion...
Children rarely want to know who their parents were before they were parents, and when...
The common law is nothing else but statutes worn out by time
It seems to be a law in American life that whatever enriches us anywhere except...
The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a...
In America, it is sport that is the opiate of the masses.
Live by publicity, you'll probably die by publicity.
Caution: These verses may be hazardous to your solemnity.
Ireland really is my problem; the breaking point of the huge suppuration which all British...
El Salvador is a democracy so it's not surprising that there are many voices to...
Love of country is like love of woman - he loves her best who seeks...
It isn't that they can't see the solution. It's that they can't see the problem.
The surest way to hit a woman's heart is to take aim kneeling.