Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.

Quote by Russell Baker

Topics: Russell Baker Quotes

People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately.

People who say you're just as old as you feel are all wrong, fortunately.

Objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that...

Objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories: those that don't work, those that...

You can't enjoy light verse with a heavy heart.

You can't enjoy light verse with a heavy heart.

An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to...

An educated person is one who has learned that information almost always turns out to...

Anticipating that most poetry will be worse than carrying heavy luggage through O'Hare Airport, the...

Anticipating that most poetry will be worse than carrying heavy luggage through O'Hare Airport, the...

Children rarely want to know who their parents were before they were parents, and when...

Children rarely want to know who their parents were before they were parents, and when...

A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals are bad is...

A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals are bad is...

The common law is nothing else but statutes worn out by time

The common law is nothing else but statutes worn out by time

I gave up on new poetry myself 30 years ago when most of it began...

I gave up on new poetry myself 30 years ago when most of it began...

The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a...

The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a...

Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

Misery no longer loves company. Nowadays it insists on it.

Caution: These verses may be hazardous to your solemnity.

Caution: These verses may be hazardous to your solemnity.

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really...

Is fuel efficiency really what we need most desperately? I say that what we really...

People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have...

People seem to enjoy things more when they know a lot of other people have...

Reporters thrive on the world's misfortune. For this reason they often take an indecent pleasure...

Reporters thrive on the world's misfortune. For this reason they often take an indecent pleasure...

The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion...

The only thing I was fit for was to be a writer, and this notion...

Live by publicity, you'll probably die by publicity.

Live by publicity, you'll probably die by publicity.

In America, it is sport that is the opiate of the masses.

In America, it is sport that is the opiate of the masses.

What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most...

What the New Yorker calls home would seem like a couple of closets to most...

In America nothing dies easier than tradition.

In America nothing dies easier than tradition.