If no meant no then every man would die a virgin.

Quote by Daniel Tosh

Topics: Daniel Tosh Quotes

Sometimes, when I'm feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to...

Sometimes, when I'm feeling down because nothing seems to be going right, I like to...

The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.

The quickest way to a man's heart is through his chest.

Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.

Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.

Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.

Cheaters never prosper, unless they get away with it.

If the minimum wasn't acceptable it wouldn't be called the minimum.

If the minimum wasn't acceptable it wouldn't be called the minimum.

My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had... so he...

My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had... so he...

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or...

Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or...

Until I was thirteen I thought my name was Shutup.

Until I was thirteen I thought my name was Shutup.

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases...

Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases...

Sometimes my mind wanders; other times it leaves completely.

Sometimes my mind wanders; other times it leaves completely.

When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few...

When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one that's a few...

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb......

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb......

I'm all for women who get plastic surgery. Because plastic surgery allows you to make...

I'm all for women who get plastic surgery. Because plastic surgery allows you to make...

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I...

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I...

Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code...

Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code...

If you had to eat another human to survive, do you think they'd taste like...

If you had to eat another human to survive, do you think they'd taste like...

When a ladder was stolen from a store the manager said that further steps would...

When a ladder was stolen from a store the manager said that further steps would...

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO...

I have voices in my head, but they're all speaking Spanish, and I have NO...

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home...

Anyone who has been to an English public school will always feel comparatively at home...