If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now

Quote by Jack Handy

Topics: Relationships Quotes, Richness Quotes

To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you...

To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you...

I think one way the cops could make money would be to hold a murder...

I think one way the cops could make money would be to hold a murder...

I hope that after I die, people will say of me: That guy sure owed...

I hope that after I die, people will say of me: That guy sure owed...

I don't like small birds. They hop around so merrily outside my window, looking so...

I don't like small birds. They hop around so merrily outside my window, looking so...

Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights,even if you...

Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights,even if you...

Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there, in the...

Whenever you read a good book, it's like the author is right there, in the...

If you ever have to steal money from your kid, and later on he discovers...

If you ever have to steal money from your kid, and later on he discovers...

If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because,...

If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because,...

Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and...

Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and...

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of...

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of...

Probably the earliest fly swatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached...

Probably the earliest fly swatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached...

It's interesting to think that my ancestors used to live in the trees, like apes,...

It's interesting to think that my ancestors used to live in the trees, like apes,...

If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and...

If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and...

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the...

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the...

If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people,...

If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people,...

One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don't run with wooden...

One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don't run with wooden...

I think a good product would be Baby Duck Hat. It's a fake baby duck,...

I think a good product would be Baby Duck Hat. It's a fake baby duck,...

Parrots, tortoises and redwoods live a longer life than men do; Men a longer life...

Parrots, tortoises and redwoods live a longer life than men do; Men a longer life...

Love at first sight isn't something that's impossible. But when you can truly love someone,...

Love at first sight isn't something that's impossible. But when you can truly love someone,...

One day You will take my heart completely and make it more fiery than a...

One day You will take my heart completely and make it more fiery than a...