I was going to get an abortion the other day. I totally wanted an abortion. And it turns out I was just thirsty.
Quote by Sarah Silverman
But I think you can make fun of anything as long as it's funny enough.
I say 'I'm sorry.' It usually disarms them.
I enjoy the last quarter of all basketball games.
They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.
SS: Jesus is Magic.
I don't set out to offend or shock, but I also don't do anything to...
I really think everything is fair game.
I'll tell you why we make fun of midgets: We're not afraid of them.
Well, I'm not afraid to say something if I think it's funny, even if it's...
Relations between black and white would be greatly improved if we were more accepting of...
This is crazy Donald. When I see the prices at the mall, I just want...
I'm Jewish, but I'm totally not.
The first time I did stand-up was the summer I was 17.
That's not to say that I don't find anything offensive.
It shows the truth - that the real meaning of a word is only as...
By the time I would have graduated, at 22, I was a writer and featured...
I have a ton of Holocaust stuff, and some of it is really hard core.
You know, I think whatever a comic talks about onstage is all they talk about...
I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of...
And then before going back for my sophomore year, I decided to change my major...