I love poking fun at myself. I have a rather mean sense of humor.

Quote by Alton Brown

Topics: Humor Quotes

My college degree was in theater. But the real reason, if I have any success...

My college degree was in theater. But the real reason, if I have any success...

Take ice. Ice is fascinating to me. Ice is the one thing in our world...

Take ice. Ice is fascinating to me. Ice is the one thing in our world...

For me, it was kind of like going into the military or something. And anybody...

For me, it was kind of like going into the military or something. And anybody...

Enough people have now mentioned Bill Nye the Science Guy to me that I now...

Enough people have now mentioned Bill Nye the Science Guy to me that I now...

I kept thinking, 'Somebody has to make a food show that is actually educational and...

I kept thinking, 'Somebody has to make a food show that is actually educational and...

Although I don't take myself very seriously, I do take my work extraordinarily seriously.

Although I don't take myself very seriously, I do take my work extraordinarily seriously.

I have nothing but sympathy for the people who are forced to work with me....

I have nothing but sympathy for the people who are forced to work with me....

I can't talk about anything or write about anything if I don't understand it. So...

I can't talk about anything or write about anything if I don't understand it. So...

I like television. I still believe that television is the most powerful form of communication...

I like television. I still believe that television is the most powerful form of communication...

Seriously. I'm not very bright, and it takes a lot for me to get a...

Seriously. I'm not very bright, and it takes a lot for me to get a...

I'm going from doing all of the work to having to delegate the work -...

I'm going from doing all of the work to having to delegate the work -...

My feeling has always been that Good Eats would have never happened had it been...

My feeling has always been that Good Eats would have never happened had it been...

The problem is I am both a procrastinator and a power junkie, so I am...

The problem is I am both a procrastinator and a power junkie, so I am...

I had kicked around the idea for Good Eats when I was directing commercials.

I had kicked around the idea for Good Eats when I was directing commercials.

So I quit my job and went to the New England Culinary Institute for the...

So I quit my job and went to the New England Culinary Institute for the...

Last year, I made a refrigerator in my basement. And I needed to because I...

Last year, I made a refrigerator in my basement. And I needed to because I...

I looked for a very long time, knowing that it had to happen, but it...

I looked for a very long time, knowing that it had to happen, but it...

Recipe writers hate to write about heat. They despise it. Because there aren't proper words...

Recipe writers hate to write about heat. They despise it. Because there aren't proper words...

I love to have battles of the wits with people that can dish fast and...

I love to have battles of the wits with people that can dish fast and...

A lot of food shows need only to tempt. Some food shows only need to...

A lot of food shows need only to tempt. Some food shows only need to...