I love being a writer. What I can't stand is the paperwork.

Quote by Peter De Vries

Topics: Funny Quotes, Writers Quotes

Celibacy is the worst form of self-abuse.

Celibacy is the worst form of self-abuse.

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly.

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds - they mature slowly.

I write when I'm inspired, and I see to it that I'm inspired at nine...

I write when I'm inspired, and I see to it that I'm inspired at nine...

I wanted to be bored to death, as good a way to go as any.

I wanted to be bored to death, as good a way to go as any.

Murals in restaurants are on a par with the food in museums.

Murals in restaurants are on a par with the food in museums.

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he...

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he...

We are not primarily put on this earth to see through one another, but to...

We are not primarily put on this earth to see through one another, but to...

The tuba is certainly the most intestinal of instruments, the very lower bowel of music.

The tuba is certainly the most intestinal of instruments, the very lower bowel of music.

Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is...

Confession is good for the soul only in the sense that a tweed coat is...

When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I...

When I can no longer bear to think of the victims of broken homes, I...

There are times when parenthood seems nothing more than feeding the hand that bites you

There are times when parenthood seems nothing more than feeding the hand that bites you

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he...

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he...

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults.

The value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults.

Life is a zoo in a jungle.

Life is a zoo in a jungle.

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car for ever...

A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car for ever...

We all learn by experience but some of us have to go to summer school.

We all learn by experience but some of us have to go to summer school.

In the great books of India, an empire spoke to us, nothing small or unworthy,...

In the great books of India, an empire spoke to us, nothing small or unworthy,...

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.

No one likes change but babies in diapers.

No one likes change but babies in diapers.

3 things I've learned in school: Texting without looking, sleeping without getting caught, and team...

3 things I've learned in school: Texting without looking, sleeping without getting caught, and team...