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If you think Independence Day is Americas defining holiday, think again. Thanksgiving deserves that title,...

If you think Independence Day is Americas defining holiday, think again. Thanksgiving deserves that title,...

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

Run for office? No. I've slept with too many women, I've done too many drugs,...

Run for office? No. I've slept with too many women, I've done too many drugs,...

Youve got to go out on a limb sometimes, because thats where the fruit is.

Youve got to go out on a limb sometimes, because thats where the fruit is.

I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a...

I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a...

I went on a children's roller coaster once when I was maybe 12-or some age...

I went on a children's roller coaster once when I was maybe 12-or some age...

I have enjoyed greatly the second blooming that comes when you finish the life of...

I have enjoyed greatly the second blooming that comes when you finish the life of...

What's the most popular pastime in America? Autoeroticism, hands down.

What's the most popular pastime in America? Autoeroticism, hands down.

If opinions are like assholes, then a lot of opinions wear Ed Hardy shirts.

If opinions are like assholes, then a lot of opinions wear Ed Hardy shirts.

When your ex asks if you can still be friends right after a break up,...

When your ex asks if you can still be friends right after a break up,...

Old age has a great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions have relaxed...

Old age has a great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions have relaxed...

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.

What though youth gave love and roses, Age still leaves us friends and wine.

What though youth gave love and roses, Age still leaves us friends and wine.

Opportunity is always knocking. The problem is that most people have the self-doubt station in...

Opportunity is always knocking. The problem is that most people have the self-doubt station in...

It is the fear of middle-age in the young, of old-age in the middle-aged, which...

It is the fear of middle-age in the young, of old-age in the middle-aged, which...

This is an age in which one cannot find common sense without a search warrant.

This is an age in which one cannot find common sense without a search warrant.

A great many things have been pronounced untrue and absurd, and even impossible, by the...

A great many things have been pronounced untrue and absurd, and even impossible, by the...

I'm trying to read a book on how to relax, but I keep falling asleep.

I'm trying to read a book on how to relax, but I keep falling asleep.

Music must take rank as the highest of the fine arts - as the one...

Music must take rank as the highest of the fine arts - as the one...

All good music resembles something. Good music stirs by its mysterious resemblance to the objects...

All good music resembles something. Good music stirs by its mysterious resemblance to the objects...