Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to be one?

Quote by Jackie Mason

Topics: Jackie Mason Quotes

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy...

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy...

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck.

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck.

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness...

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness...

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life.

It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life.

It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life.

It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy...

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy...

A billion here, a billion there...sooner or later it adds up to real money

A billion here, a billion there...sooner or later it adds up to real money

Even when you have a big budget, you can't just shoot everything.

Even when you have a big budget, you can't just shoot everything.

You can fool all the people all the time if the advertising is right and...

You can fool all the people all the time if the advertising is right and...

Everyone has a budget, I don't care who you are. But they said if we...

Everyone has a budget, I don't care who you are. But they said if we...

I find shoestrings very hard work. I like big budgets.

I find shoestrings very hard work. I like big budgets.

When people see the budget, they're going to say, 'Oh, my God, I wanted a...

When people see the budget, they're going to say, 'Oh, my God, I wanted a...

Tell Lucien I said fuck it Im tearing holes in my budget. Bag her like...

Tell Lucien I said fuck it Im tearing holes in my budget. Bag her like...

The defense budget is more than a piggy bank for people who want to get...

The defense budget is more than a piggy bank for people who want to get...

So many directors are solely focused on their own success in Hollywood and multimillion dollar...

So many directors are solely focused on their own success in Hollywood and multimillion dollar...

A budget tells us what we can't afford, but it doesn't keep us from buying...

A budget tells us what we can't afford, but it doesn't keep us from buying...

Every year the State will be the dog that chases its own tail... engaging in...

Every year the State will be the dog that chases its own tail... engaging in...

After the government takes enough to balance the budget, the taxpayer has the job of...

After the government takes enough to balance the budget, the taxpayer has the job of...

You know how much you love it when you get it in abundance. Give a...

You know how much you love it when you get it in abundance. Give a...

Politicians never accuse you of 'greed' for wanting other people's money - only for wanting...

Politicians never accuse you of 'greed' for wanting other people's money - only for wanting...