Quotes by Jackie Mason

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

#Funny, #Marriage

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy...

#Funny, #Money

It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life.

#Jackie Mason

If an Englishman gets run down by a truck he apologizes to the truck.

#Jackie Mason

Did you ever hear of a kid playing accountant - even if they wanted to...

#Jackie Mason

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness...

#Health, #Illness

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy...

#Budgets, #Money

It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life.

#Profit