Dear MacGuyver, Enclosed is a rubber band, a paper clip, and a drinking straw. Please save my dog.

Quote by Peter Griffin

Topics: Peter Griffin Quotes

Hey Brian! I turned the stairs into a waterslide!

Hey Brian! I turned the stairs into a waterslide!

What am I supposed to do with all my great ideas? Put 'em in a...

What am I supposed to do with all my great ideas? Put 'em in a...

Oh, I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for...

Oh, I thought you wanted us to murder the children and harvest their organs for...

Hey hey, where the hell is that Peter Griffin? He told me he'd give me...

Hey hey, where the hell is that Peter Griffin? He told me he'd give me...

Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you...

Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you...

Well, I'm gettin' something really special too. And by special I don't mean special like...

Well, I'm gettin' something really special too. And by special I don't mean special like...

You know what I haven't had in a while? Big League Chew.

You know what I haven't had in a while? Big League Chew.

Oh god, I hope you're not pregnant, we can't afford another kid. We already got...

Oh god, I hope you're not pregnant, we can't afford another kid. We already got...

Be careful who you're calling a child, Lois, because if I'm a child, that makes...

Be careful who you're calling a child, Lois, because if I'm a child, that makes...

That's right, I'm your daddy. Shh, Shh, Shh, Shh. Don't talk, Lois, don't talk. Just...

That's right, I'm your daddy. Shh, Shh, Shh, Shh. Don't talk, Lois, don't talk. Just...

Hey, that's fantastic, Lois! And I'll pleasure myself to your photos.

Hey, that's fantastic, Lois! And I'll pleasure myself to your photos.

Oh yeah? Watcha sellin'? Meth, ex, crack, dust, coke, block, crystal????? IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD? I...

Oh yeah? Watcha sellin'? Meth, ex, crack, dust, coke, block, crystal????? IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD? I...

Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'

Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'

Stand perfectly still Lois, their vision is based on movement.

Stand perfectly still Lois, their vision is based on movement.

I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I looked with a...

I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. I looked with a...

I'd say, 'Come again?' and I'd laugh as I said, 'Come.'

I'd say, 'Come again?' and I'd laugh as I said, 'Come.'

Gays don't vommit. They're a very clean people. And they have been ever since they...

Gays don't vommit. They're a very clean people. And they have been ever since they...

Although all new ideas are born in France, they are not readily adopted there. It...

Although all new ideas are born in France, they are not readily adopted there. It...

France cannot be France without greatness.

France cannot be France without greatness.

Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion.

Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion.