Well, I'm gettin' something really special too. And by special I don't mean special like that Kleinaman boy down the street. More special like... like Special K, the cereal. Hey, what do they do with the regular K? And for…

Quote by Peter Griffin

Topics: Peter Griffin Quotes

Hey, that's fantastic, Lois! And I'll pleasure myself to your photos.

Hey, that's fantastic, Lois! And I'll pleasure myself to your photos.

Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you...

Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you...

I'd say, 'Come again?' and I'd laugh as I said, 'Come.'

I'd say, 'Come again?' and I'd laugh as I said, 'Come.'

Yep, now here's the plan: You'll enter through the air contitioning duct here. Now there'll...

Yep, now here's the plan: You'll enter through the air contitioning duct here. Now there'll...

You know what I haven't had in a while? Big League Chew.

You know what I haven't had in a while? Big League Chew.

Just don't forget our deal, Lois. I sit through this and later tonight I get...

Just don't forget our deal, Lois. I sit through this and later tonight I get...

Gays don't vommit. They're a very clean people. And they have been ever since they...

Gays don't vommit. They're a very clean people. And they have been ever since they...

What am I supposed to do with all my great ideas? Put 'em in a...

What am I supposed to do with all my great ideas? Put 'em in a...

Wait, Lois, we have to handle this delicately. Our son....wants....to plow you.

Wait, Lois, we have to handle this delicately. Our son....wants....to plow you.

Dear MacGuyver, Enclosed is a rubber band, a paper clip, and a drinking straw. Please...

Dear MacGuyver, Enclosed is a rubber band, a paper clip, and a drinking straw. Please...

Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'

Oh my god, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, 'Oooooo.'

Oh yeah? Watcha sellin'? Meth, ex, crack, dust, coke, block, crystal????? IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD? I...

Oh yeah? Watcha sellin'? Meth, ex, crack, dust, coke, block, crystal????? IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD? I...

That's right, I'm your daddy. Shh, Shh, Shh, Shh. Don't talk, Lois, don't talk. Just...

That's right, I'm your daddy. Shh, Shh, Shh, Shh. Don't talk, Lois, don't talk. Just...

Oh god, I hope you're not pregnant, we can't afford another kid. We already got...

Oh god, I hope you're not pregnant, we can't afford another kid. We already got...

Hey Brian! I turned the stairs into a waterslide!

Hey Brian! I turned the stairs into a waterslide!

Attention restaurant customers: Testicles. That is all.

Attention restaurant customers: Testicles. That is all.

Be careful who you're calling a child, Lois, because if I'm a child, that makes...

Be careful who you're calling a child, Lois, because if I'm a child, that makes...

I do 5 sit-ups every morning. May not sound like much, but there's only so...

I do 5 sit-ups every morning. May not sound like much, but there's only so...

Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any...

Reading, after a certain age, diverts the mind too much from its creative pursuits. Any...

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

'True Life: I Have A Hot Mom' is easily my favorite True Life.

'True Life: I Have A Hot Mom' is easily my favorite True Life.