Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.

Quote by Robert Benchley

Topics: Robert Benchley Quotes

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush,...

For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush,...

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left...

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left...

If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back...

If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back...

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.

Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to...

Anyone who tries to keep track of what is happening in China is going to...

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of...

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of...

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.

At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in...

At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in...

In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance...

In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance...

There are two kinds of people in this world - those who divide everything into...

There are two kinds of people in this world - those who divide everything into...

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive,...

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive,...

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but...

It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but...

A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for...

A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for...

There is something about saying Ok and hanging up the receiver with a bang that...

There is something about saying Ok and hanging up the receiver with a bang that...

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that...

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that...

It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of...

It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of...

Playing a fun drinking game called: Girl alone with her cat.

Playing a fun drinking game called: Girl alone with her cat.