Commencement speeches were invented largely in the belief that outgoing college students should never be released into the world until they have been properly sedated.

Quote by Garry Trudeau

Topics: Funny Quotes, Graduation Quotes

Lives have been altered in fundamental ways, and later, after they acquire a more complete...

Lives have been altered in fundamental ways, and later, after they acquire a more complete...

Well, it's a humor strip, so my first responsibility has always been to entertain the...

Well, it's a humor strip, so my first responsibility has always been to entertain the...

I try to take people one at a time, with all the contradictions and compromises...

I try to take people one at a time, with all the contradictions and compromises...

In any event, it's not exactly a secret to regular readers what my views on...

In any event, it's not exactly a secret to regular readers what my views on...

I don't think so, but it's always in the back of my mind that many...

I don't think so, but it's always in the back of my mind that many...

Life is like a movie-since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up...

Life is like a movie-since there aren't any commercial breaks, you have to get up...

I'm all about sharing the road with other drivers...as long as they use the part...

I'm all about sharing the road with other drivers...as long as they use the part...

In the great books of India, an empire spoke to us, nothing small or unworthy,...

In the great books of India, an empire spoke to us, nothing small or unworthy,...

It is good to have friends both in Heaven and Hell?

It is good to have friends both in Heaven and Hell?

The rain forest has Sting. Now Siberia has Jack Dee. Someone had to draw the...

The rain forest has Sting. Now Siberia has Jack Dee. Someone had to draw the...

It looked as if a night of dark intent Was coming, and not only a...

It looked as if a night of dark intent Was coming, and not only a...

The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up...

The Grand Old Duke of York He had ten thousand men. His case comes up...

Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.

Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.

I am fifty-two years of age. I am a bishop in the Anglican Church, and...

I am fifty-two years of age. I am a bishop in the Anglican Church, and...

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the...

Ever since they found out that Lassie was a boy, the public has believed the...

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places...

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places...

Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day...

Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day...

Sometimes when my internet is down I forget the rest of my computer still works....

Sometimes when my internet is down I forget the rest of my computer still works....

Last christmas my sister, Geri, gave me a lovely Cloth calendar. It only took me...

Last christmas my sister, Geri, gave me a lovely Cloth calendar. It only took me...

I do not know the American gentleman, God forgive me for putting two such words...

I do not know the American gentleman, God forgive me for putting two such words...

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer...

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer...