A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
Quote by Marvin Kitman
The appropriate age for marriage is around eighteen for girls and thirty-seven for men.
I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.
You cant fight in here, this is the War Room!
When I can't sleep, I read a book by Steve Allen.
I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.
Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and it annoys...
I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again.
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say...
In the great books of India, an empire spoke to us, nothing small or unworthy,...
There are three faithful friends, an old wife, an old dog, and ready money.
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst.
Information is the oxygen of the modern age. It seeps through the walls topped by...
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.
Adam was the luckiest man in the world. He had no mother-in-law.
I dream for a living.
Remember that a successful marriage depends on two things: (1) finding the right person and...
I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages. You can't divorce...