A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
Quote by Marvin Kitman
How long was I in the army? Five foot eleven.
The rest of all the acts of Asa, and all his might, and all that...
I've developed a new philosophy...I only dread one day at a time.
Happiness: a good bank account, a good cook, and a good digestion.
Everything that goes up must come down. But there comes a time when not everything...
Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better.
If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...
We used to play spin the bottle when I was a kid. A girl would...
I have lived long enough. My way of life is to fall into the sere,...
Half a truth is better than no politics.
Try to keep your soul young and quivering right up to old age.
Housekeeping ain't no joke
Behind every great man there is a surprised woman.
I could dance till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with...
I said to the wife, Guess what I heard in the pub? They reckon the...
What's on your mind, if you will allow the overstatement?
Not being able to sleep is terrible. You have the misery of having partied all...
Where there is marriage without love, there will be love without marriage.
Marriage is not just spiritual communion and passionate embraces; marriage is also three meals a...