A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.
Quote by Marvin Kitman
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...
Middle age is when you still believe you'll feel better in the morning.
The veracity which increases with old age is not far from folly.
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank...
My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and...
Popular culture is the new Babylon, into which so much art and intellect now flow....
Don't bother me at work...unless cake is involved.
He'd make a lovely corpse.
If you don't run your own life, somebody else will.
I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.
Fish are friends, not food!
Those bellhops in Miami are tip-happy. I ordered a deck of playing cards and the...
I could be in another country but if someone is waiting on me and they...
Happiness is like a kiss. You must share it to enjoy it.
Have you heard about the Irishman who reversed into a car boot sale and sold...
Changing your life is like a diet, most people fail in the first week.
I love running cross country....On a track, I feel like a hamster.
The more I look around and listen I realize that I'm not alone. We are...
There would be more good marriages if the marriage partners didn't live together.
Marriage is a contradiction in terms of endearment.