100 calorie packs aren't so bad if you have 3 or 4 of them.

Topics: Food Quotes, Funny Quotes

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead.

I want my food dead. Not sick, not dying, dead.

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex. In fact, I...

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex. In fact, I...

They are all but stomachs, and we all but food; They eat us hungerly, and...

They are all but stomachs, and we all but food; They eat us hungerly, and...

I got baby food in my coffee maker.

I got baby food in my coffee maker.

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef...

I don't like food that's too carefully arranged; it makes me think that the chef...

Around every corner lurk greasy Fisherman's Platters that give children nightmares, Naugahyde minute steaks that...

Around every corner lurk greasy Fisherman's Platters that give children nightmares, Naugahyde minute steaks that...

He who works his land will have abundant food, but the one who chases fantasies...

He who works his land will have abundant food, but the one who chases fantasies...

When I see a bruised apple at the market, I give it a soft hug...

When I see a bruised apple at the market, I give it a soft hug...

You know, if I listened to him [Michael Dukakis] long enough, I would be convinced...

You know, if I listened to him [Michael Dukakis] long enough, I would be convinced...

In terms of fast food and deep understanding of the culture of fast food, I'm...

In terms of fast food and deep understanding of the culture of fast food, I'm...

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

A food is not necessarily essential just because your child hates it.

A food is not necessarily essential just because your child hates it.

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see...

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see...

Nutrition facts are useless, just show me how long I have to be at the...

Nutrition facts are useless, just show me how long I have to be at the...

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and...

Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I'm halfway through my fish burger and...

Christmas itself may be called into question, If carried so far it creates indigestion.

Christmas itself may be called into question, If carried so far it creates indigestion.

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food!

I cook with wine; sometimes I even add it to the food!

Only true friends go straight to your refrigerator when they go to your house.

Only true friends go straight to your refrigerator when they go to your house.

The most expensive habit in the world is celluloid, not heroin, and I need a...

The most expensive habit in the world is celluloid, not heroin, and I need a...

I'm all about sharing the road with other drivers...as long as they use the part...

I'm all about sharing the road with other drivers...as long as they use the part...