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You never know what you have until you clean your room
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Hate to see you leave but love to watch you go. Cause of your butt.
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The day I stop loving you is the day Lady Gaga decides to wear normal...
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I can read in Red, I can read in Blue I can read in pickle...
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By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. if you...
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Haloween=candy Thanksgiving=food Christmas=gifts New Year=drinks Valentines=sex Birthday=All the above.jpg
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The idea behind the tuxedo is the woman's point of view that men are all...
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Violent Criminals. You take the entire state of Kansas , give them a couple of...
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What exactly does expression mean "friends with benefits"? Does he provide her with health insurance?
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Don't have sex, cause you will get pregnant and die.
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What computer do you have? And please don't say a white one.
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I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....
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When a baby is staring at you and their parents aren't looking
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When I was little "I'm gonna tell your mom" was the scariest sentence ever
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The only time you should look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that...
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I love my computer because my friends live in it
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A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her...
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Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
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Dr. Cuddy: When's the last time you showered? House: Scent of a man. I realize...
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