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When I die I want my last words to be, I left a million dollars under the...
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Funny Picture Quotes
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Murphy's Law : Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself
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Why Trick or Treating is better than Sex? You can do the whole neighborhood.
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Drink' till she's cute but stop before the wedding
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If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as...
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Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
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In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland....
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Keep smiling and one day Life will get tired of upsetting you
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Two things are infinite the universe and human stupidity and I'm not sure about the...
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New Year's Resolutions This year I resolve to be more democratic and I've made a...
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Laughing at your own mistake can lengthen your life. Laughing at your wife’s mistakes can...
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A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until...
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The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is...
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OK, yes it's a mistake. I know it's a mistake, but there are certain things...
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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
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You have 200. 194. 305 friend requests. I knew this Facebook thing was a bad...
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A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted
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You know how they say that you can't live without love? Well oxigen is even...
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You spent three days lying on a beach drinking rum? Welcome to the Carribbean love.
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