This woman I met last week says she wants a guy who is "funny and spontaneous". Yet when I tapped on the kitchen window uninvited late at night dressed as a clown it is all panic screaming.

This woman I met last week says she wants a guy who is "funny and spontaneous". Yet when I tapped on the kitchen window uninvited late at night dressed as a clown it is all panic screaming.

Topics: Funny Picture Quotes, Relationships Picture Quotes, Trust women Picture Quotes

I can read in Red, I can read in Blue I can read in pickle...

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I can read in Red, I can read in Blue I can read in pickle...

I prefer an interesting vice to a virtue that bores

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I prefer an interesting vice to a virtue that bores

We are all little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone...

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We are all little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone...

When a baby is staring at you and their parents aren't looking

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When a baby is staring at you and their parents aren't looking

Shopping is better than sex. At least if you're not satisfied you can exchange it...

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Shopping is better than sex. At least if you're not satisfied you can exchange it...

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is...

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The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is...

A jealous woman does better research that the FBI.

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A jealous woman does better research that the FBI.

The most memorable days usually end with the dirtiest clothes

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The most memorable days usually end with the dirtiest clothes

Sex is like math. Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and hope...

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Sex is like math. Add the bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and hope...

Dear Santa, if you leave a new bike under the tree, I will give you...

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Dear Santa, if you leave a new bike under the tree, I will give you...

Come out of the closet and still be awesome CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

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Come out of the closet and still be awesome CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

I'm at the age where I want two girls In case I fall asleep they...

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I'm at the age where I want two girls In case I fall asleep they...

The next time someone asks if you have a sec, tell them 'Actually, I have...

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The next time someone asks if you have a sec, tell them 'Actually, I have...

A well tailored suit is to women what lingerie is to men

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A well tailored suit is to women what lingerie is to men

There are only two reasons to date a girl youâ€™ve already dated: breast implants.

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There are only two reasons to date a girl youâ€™ve already dated: breast implants.

A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth

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A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth

If a man smiles all the time he's probably selling something that doesn't work

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If a man smiles all the time he's probably selling something that doesn't work

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as...

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If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as...