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I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.
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Divorce Picture Quotes
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Funny Picture Quotes
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I realised that staying with my kids was more important than leaving my wife.
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He taught me housekeeping when I divorce I keep the house.
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Christmas is not the time for regrets. That's what anniversaries are for.
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Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
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Don't have sex, cause you will get pregnant and die.
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The only reason I'm fat is because a tiny body couldn't store all this personality.
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I'm pretty sure the whole "ladies first" when opening up a door was created by...
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Never give up something that you can't go a day without thinking about
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