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Delete my feelings for you. Error.The file is too big.

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Delete my feelings for you. Error.The file is too big.

Murphy's Law : Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself

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Murphy's Law : Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks...

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When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks...

As I have grown older I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible. But pissing everyone...

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As I have grown older I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible. But pissing everyone...

The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much

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The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much

I want to breed a dog called 'SnickerDoodle'. I've got the 'oodle' part covered

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I want to breed a dog called 'SnickerDoodle'. I've got the 'oodle' part covered

Genius is one percent inspiration, two percent perspiration, and ninety seven percent Tesla

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Genius is one percent inspiration, two percent perspiration, and ninety seven percent Tesla

It's funny how you can tell someone likes someone else, but you can't tell when...

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It's funny how you can tell someone likes someone else, but you can't tell when...

The only 'B' word you should call a woman is 'beautiful' . Bitches love being...

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The only 'B' word you should call a woman is 'beautiful' . Bitches love being...

If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous...

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If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous...

Dr. Cameron: You want me to tell a man whose wife is about to die...

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Dr. Cameron: You want me to tell a man whose wife is about to die...

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

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Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

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I'll tell ya my wife and I, we don't think alike She donates money to...

My wife wanted me to take her somewhere expensive last night.

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My wife wanted me to take her somewhere expensive last night.

Im great in bed, I can sleep for days.

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Im great in bed, I can sleep for days.

New Year's Resolutions This year I resolve to be more democratic and I've made a...

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New Year's Resolutions This year I resolve to be more democratic and I've made a...

The only reason I'm fat is because a tiny body couldn't store all this personality.

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The only reason I'm fat is because a tiny body couldn't store all this personality.

Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.

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Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.

Whatever you give to life, it gives you back. Do not hate anybody. The hatred...

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Whatever you give to life, it gives you back. Do not hate anybody. The hatred...

I hate it when I have to be nice to someone, I really want to...

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I hate it when I have to be nice to someone, I really want to...

I'm not the girl who always has a boyfriend. I'm the girl who rarely has...

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I'm not the girl who always has a boyfriend. I'm the girl who rarely has...