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That's the problem with drinking, I thought as I poured myself a drink. If something...

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That's the problem with drinking, I thought as I poured myself a drink. If something...

A fool always finds one more fool to admire him

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A fool always finds one more fool to admire him

Stop thinking of fun and have it

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Stop thinking of fun and have it

I don't care what people think of me. At least mosquitos find me attractive.

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I don't care what people think of me. At least mosquitos find me attractive.

Dear kids of all ages, Santa is coming after a short break

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Dear kids of all ages, Santa is coming after a short break

I prefer an interesting vice to a virtue that bores

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I prefer an interesting vice to a virtue that bores

The lovely thing about being forty is that you can appreciate twenty-five-year-old men

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The lovely thing about being forty is that you can appreciate twenty-five-year-old men

I like nonsense it wakes up the brain cells

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I like nonsense it wakes up the brain cells

We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance

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We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to the their level and...

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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to the their level and...

Dear Santa, yeah, I was naughty this year and it was worth it, you fat...

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Dear Santa, yeah, I was naughty this year and it was worth it, you fat...

The 8-Track is to today's stereos like what a girlfriend is to wife an earlier,...

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The 8-Track is to today's stereos like what a girlfriend is to wife an earlier,...

If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous...

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If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous...

The great secret of happiness in love is to be glad that the other fellow...

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The great secret of happiness in love is to be glad that the other fellow...

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted

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A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted

No one looks back on their and remembers the nights they had plenty of sleep

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No one looks back on their and remembers the nights they had plenty of sleep

Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays...

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Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays...

A lot of times when a package says 'Open other end', I purposely open the...

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A lot of times when a package says 'Open other end', I purposely open the...

Quiet people have the loudest mind

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Quiet people have the loudest mind

I regret that it takes a life to learn how to live.

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I regret that it takes a life to learn how to live.

A quiet man is a thinking man, a quiet women is hatching plan

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A quiet man is a thinking man, a quiet women is hatching plan

Sex is a beautiful thing. It's just certain people use it wrong.

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Sex is a beautiful thing. It's just certain people use it wrong.