I wish life was a remote. Play the easy times. Pause the good times. Fast forward the bullshit. Rewind the memories

I wish life was a remote. Play the easy times. Pause the good times. Fast forward the bullshit. Rewind the memories

Topics: Funny Picture Quotes, Memories Picture Quotes, Remote control Picture Quotes

Do you have any books about making friends?

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Do you have any books about making friends?

It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

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It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she...

Haloween=candy Thanksgiving=food Christmas=gifts New Year=drinks Valentines=sex Birthday=All the above.jpg

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Haloween=candy Thanksgiving=food Christmas=gifts New Year=drinks Valentines=sex Birthday=All the above.jpg

The only problem with sleeping with strangers is.. they're strange

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The only problem with sleeping with strangers is.. they're strange

If each day is a gift, I would like to know where I can return...

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If each day is a gift, I would like to know where I can return...

I knew you would come, Santa! Hey, Santa, where's your big, round belly?

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I knew you would come, Santa! Hey, Santa, where's your big, round belly?

You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow.

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You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow.

A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks, a woman loses hers after...

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A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks, a woman loses hers after...

Santa Claus has the right idea : visit people only once a year

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Santa Claus has the right idea : visit people only once a year

Facebook should have a limit on how many times you can change your relationship status....

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Facebook should have a limit on how many times you can change your relationship status....

Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits...

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Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits...

A fool always finds one more fool to admire him

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A fool always finds one more fool to admire him

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as...

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If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as...

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

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I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

May the internet bring you comfort when your family goes insane this holiday season

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May the internet bring you comfort when your family goes insane this holiday season

What I think when someone uses the computer What the hell are you doing Why...

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What I think when someone uses the computer What the hell are you doing Why...

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say hello My first instinct...

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My first instinct when I see an animal is to say hello My first instinct...

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

Sometimes you miss the memories, not the person.

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Sometimes you miss the memories, not the person.

Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.

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Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory.