The funniest line in English is Get it? When you say that, everyone chortles.

Quote by Garrison Keillor

Topics: Garrison Keillor Quotes

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it.

Sometimes you have to look reality in the eye, and deny it.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love...

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love...

It (The New York Times) reads like it was edited by two elderly sociologists, one...

It (The New York Times) reads like it was edited by two elderly sociologists, one...

God writes a lot of comedy-the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors...

God writes a lot of comedy-the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors...

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad...

Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.

Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up.

Where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking and all the children...

Where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking and all the children...

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you...

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you...

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking,...

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking,...

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose.

Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards and...

Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards and...

Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance: it might...

Selective ignorance, a cornerstone of child rearing. You don't put kids under surveillance: it might...

I'm not busy... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think...

I'm not busy... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think...

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar...

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar...

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning...

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning...

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all...

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all...

Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.

Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'