If variety is the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam.

Quote by Johnny Carson

Topics: Funny Quotes, Marriage Quotes

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has...

Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has...

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow...

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow...

Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and...

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and...

We're more effective than birth control pills.

We're more effective than birth control pills.

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was...

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was...

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his...

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his...

If variety if the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam

If variety if the spice of life, marriage is the big can of leftover Spam

In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.

In Hollywood if you don't have a shrink, people think you're crazy.

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.

The only thing money gives you is the freedom of not worrying about money.

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they...

Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they...

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his...

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his...

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

People will pay more to be entertained than educated.

People will pay more to be entertained than educated.

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper...

For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper...

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing,...

Never continue in a job you don't enjoy. If you're happy in what you're doing,...

No experience is a cause of success or failure. We do not suffer from the...

No experience is a cause of success or failure. We do not suffer from the...

Success is in the details.

Success is in the details.

In all our deeds, the proper value and respect for time determines success or failure.

In all our deeds, the proper value and respect for time determines success or failure.