Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier than fake news executives. They dont know theyre being funny.

Quote by Stephen Colbert

Topics: Reality Quotes, Statistics Quotes

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no...

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no...

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently...

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently...

I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and...

I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and...

You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take...

You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take...

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He...

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK...

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK...

Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.

Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

As God said to Job, Checkmate

As God said to Job, Checkmate

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto...

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto...

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. Whats wrong with red,...

Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. Whats wrong with red,...

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came...

Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came...

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.