Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Just put 'em through a spell check and go home.

Quote by Stephen Colbert

Topics: Decision Quotes, Press Quotes

Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.

Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He...

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He...

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to...

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to...

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier...

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier...

I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled...

I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled...

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto...

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto...

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came...

Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came...

I'm not a fan of facts. You see, facts can change, but my opinion will...

I'm not a fan of facts. You see, facts can change, but my opinion will...

Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. Whats wrong with red,...

Even the weather page is in a state of moral decay. Whats wrong with red,...

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently...

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently...

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for...

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for...

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts...

Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts...

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no...

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no...

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

You should stick with what you enjoy, what you find funny -- that's the humor...

You should stick with what you enjoy, what you find funny -- that's the humor...

All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.

All I know about humor is that I don't know anything about it.

I swear to the Lord, I still can't see, why Democracy means, everybody but me.

I swear to the Lord, I still can't see, why Democracy means, everybody but me.