Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Just put 'em through a spell check and go home.

Quote by Stephen Colbert

Topics: Decision Quotes, Press Quotes

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier...

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier...

Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.

Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.

Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts...

Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently...

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently...

Believe in me, cause I don't believe in anything, and I wanna be someone to...

Believe in me, cause I don't believe in anything, and I wanna be someone to...

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto...

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto...

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He...

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He...

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came...

Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came...

I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and...

I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and...

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no...

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no...

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

As God said to Job, Checkmate

As God said to Job, Checkmate

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled...

I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled...

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for...

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for...

You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take...

You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take...

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.