Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Just put 'em through a spell check and go home.

Quote by Stephen Colbert

Topics: Decision Quotes, Press Quotes

I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and...

I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and...

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to...

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to...

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no...

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no...

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts...

Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts...

You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take...

You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take...

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier...

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier...

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently...

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently...

Believe in me, cause I don't believe in anything, and I wanna be someone to...

Believe in me, cause I don't believe in anything, and I wanna be someone to...

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.

I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled...

I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled...

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK...

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK...

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He...

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He...

The eloquent man is he who is no eloquent speaker, but who is inwardly drunk...

The eloquent man is he who is no eloquent speaker, but who is inwardly drunk...

If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the...

If I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the...

If you believe in an unseen Christ, you will believe in the unseen Christlike potential...

If you believe in an unseen Christ, you will believe in the unseen Christlike potential...