Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Just put 'em through a spell check and go home.

Quote by Stephen Colbert

Topics: Decision Quotes, Press Quotes

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier...

Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK...

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK...

I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and...

I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and...

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts...

Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts...

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no...

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday - no...

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He...

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He...

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently...

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently...

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came...

Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came...

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto...

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto...

You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take...

You shouldn't listen to us at all if you're looking for information. We don't take...

Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.

Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for...

I just think Rosa Parks was overrated. Last time I checked, she got famous for...

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to...

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to...

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.