My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.

Quote by Jerry Seinfeld

Topics: Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.

To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to...

To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to...

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always...

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always...

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to...

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to...

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death....

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death....

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a...

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a...

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death....

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death....

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the...

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the...

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little...

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little...

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as...

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as...

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top...

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top...

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they...

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they...

Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little...

Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little...

I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.

I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.

Whatever with the past has gone, the best is always yet to come.

Whatever with the past has gone, the best is always yet to come.