MUMMY, n. An ancient Egyptian, formerly in universal use among modern civilized nations as medicine, and now engaged in supplying art with an excellent pigment. He is handy, too, in museums in gratifying the vulgar curiosity that serves to distinguish…

Quote by Ambrose Bierce

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LEVIATHAN, n. An enormous aquatic animal mentioned by Job. Some suppose it to have been...

LEVIATHAN, n. An enormous aquatic animal mentioned by Job. Some suppose it to have been...

CONSUL, n. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure and office from...

CONSUL, n. In American politics, a person who having failed to secure and office from...

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.

Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough...

Acquaintance. A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough...

SCRIPTURES, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and...

SCRIPTURES, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and...

Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.

Debt, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slavedriver.

OLD, adj. In that stage of usefulness which is not inconsistent with general inefficiency, as...

OLD, adj. In that stage of usefulness which is not inconsistent with general inefficiency, as...

Christian: One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited...

Christian: One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited...

FAMOUS, adj. Conspicuously miserable. Done to a turn on the iron, behold Him who to...

FAMOUS, adj. Conspicuously miserable. Done to a turn on the iron, behold Him who to...

DOG, n. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and...

DOG, n. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and...

HYPOCRITE, n. One who, profession virtues that he does not respect secures the advantage of...

HYPOCRITE, n. One who, profession virtues that he does not respect secures the advantage of...

Mythology: the body of a primitive people's beliefs, concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities...

Mythology: the body of a primitive people's beliefs, concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deities...

A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of...

Trial. A formal inquiry designed to prove and put upon record the blameless characters of...

A cat is a soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things...

A cat is a soft, indestructible automaton provided by nature to be kicked when things...

The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of...

The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of...

Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for...

Creditor. One of a tribe of savages dwelling beyond the Financial Straits and dreaded for...