I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I've done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that's mostly what I'm offered.

Quote by Billy Connolly

Topics: Billy Connolly Quotes

Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.

Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.

I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I...

I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I...

I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.

I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.

I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a...

I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a...

I always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of...

I always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of...

My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was...

My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was...

Oh aye...my Father would thrash me every now and then. He'd talk while he did...

Oh aye...my Father would thrash me every now and then. He'd talk while he did...

I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's...

I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's...

The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America...

The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America...

I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of...

I think my securities far outweigh my insecurities. I am not nearly as afraid of...

I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a...

I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a...

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.

I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.

I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.

I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful....

I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful....

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly...

The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly...

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares?...

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares?...

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.

Some folks are wise and some otherwise.

Some folks are wise and some otherwise.

Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there.

Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there.

I had the best day ever, I ran into my ex girlfriend and her new...

I had the best day ever, I ran into my ex girlfriend and her new...