I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger.

Quote by Jay London

Topics: Jay London Quotes

I model irregular clothing.

I model irregular clothing.

I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be',...

I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be',...

I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.

I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.

You know what burns me? Matches.

You know what burns me? Matches.

I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody.

I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody.

Did you know that today will never be tomorrow.

Did you know that today will never be tomorrow.

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

I was born nine months premature.

I was born nine months premature.

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.

I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.

I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.

Do you know it was a year a ago today?

Do you know it was a year a ago today?

I saw a stationery store move.

I saw a stationery store move.

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.

A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.

A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling...

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling...

They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the...

They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the...

I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they...

I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they...

I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said...

I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said...

I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent. They kicked me out...

I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent. They kicked me out...

People read me but they don't subscribe.

People read me but they don't subscribe.