It's all been satirized for your protection.

Quote by Bill Maher

Topics: Bill Maher Quotes

What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country.

What Democratic congressmen do to their women staffers, Republican congressmen do to the country.

Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case...

Fame has sent a number of celebrities off the deep end, and in the case...

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.

When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you...

When you want to make it clear to the rest of the world that you...

I never thought I'd say this, what Obama needs in his personality is a little...

I never thought I'd say this, what Obama needs in his personality is a little...

Men are only as loyal as their options

Men are only as loyal as their options

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.

Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.

Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.

Stop worrying. Hollywood wont turn your daughter into a nymphomaniac or get her hooked on...

Stop worrying. Hollywood wont turn your daughter into a nymphomaniac or get her hooked on...

I would describe my spirituality as exactly the opposite of having a religious affiliation.

I would describe my spirituality as exactly the opposite of having a religious affiliation.

Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the...

Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the...

When we make mistakes they call it evil

When we make mistakes they call it evil

This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich...

This is a ridiculous heat wave we're in right now, and to contribute, Newt Gingrich...

We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I...

We are a nation that is unenlightened because of religion. I do believe that. I...

When we talk about values, I think of rationality in solving problems. Thats something I...

When we talk about values, I think of rationality in solving problems. Thats something I...

Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please,...

Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please,...

I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is...

I think flying planes into a building was a faith-based initiative. I think religion is...

Men are only as loyal as their options.

Men are only as loyal as their options.

Human nature is so well disposed towards those who are in interesting situations, that a...

Human nature is so well disposed towards those who are in interesting situations, that a...

Men are cruel, but Man is kind.

Men are cruel, but Man is kind.

Man is the animal that intends to shoot himself out into interplanetary space, after having...

Man is the animal that intends to shoot himself out into interplanetary space, after having...

The being without an opinion is so painful to human nature that most people will...

The being without an opinion is so painful to human nature that most people will...