Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me.

Quote by Samantha Jones

Topics: Samantha Jones Quotes

I spent the last two hours f**king with no finale.

I spent the last two hours f**king with no finale.

Hi, my name is Samantha and I am a love-aholic

Hi, my name is Samantha and I am a love-aholic

Well it's about f**kin time. Get over here and do me.

Well it's about f**kin time. Get over here and do me.

All married couples stop having sex eventually.

All married couples stop having sex eventually.

Well, I'll admit I have had to polish myself off once or twice, but yes!...

Well, I'll admit I have had to polish myself off once or twice, but yes!...

Hello, 911? I'm on fire.

Hello, 911? I'm on fire.

Be damn sure before you get off the ferris wheel, because there are twenty-two perky...

Be damn sure before you get off the ferris wheel, because there are twenty-two perky...

Who cares what you are just enjoy it!

Who cares what you are just enjoy it!

Hey, you almost masturbated, he almost got it up, together you almost had sex.

Hey, you almost masturbated, he almost got it up, together you almost had sex.

Transexuals. Chicks with d**ks. Boobs on top, balls down below.

Transexuals. Chicks with d**ks. Boobs on top, balls down below.

I'm a trisexual. I'll try anything once.

I'm a trisexual. I'll try anything once.

The country runs better with a good looking man in the White House. Look what...

The country runs better with a good looking man in the White House. Look what...

I don't know how you people do it! All that emotional chow chow, it's exhausting!

I don't know how you people do it! All that emotional chow chow, it's exhausting!

A guy can just as easily dump you if you fuck him on the first...

A guy can just as easily dump you if you fuck him on the first...

I take offense at that generalisation. Not all women sit around and obsess about men,...

I take offense at that generalisation. Not all women sit around and obsess about men,...

Can we cut the cake? I have a three-way to go to.

Can we cut the cake? I have a three-way to go to.

I think I have monogamy. I caught it from you people.

I think I have monogamy. I caught it from you people.

I'm paying a fortune to live in a neighbouhood that's trendy by day and trannie...

I'm paying a fortune to live in a neighbouhood that's trendy by day and trannie...

Honey, you look back so much you should have a relationship rear-view mirror.

Honey, you look back so much you should have a relationship rear-view mirror.

Well, its tedious and the sex is dwindeling, so from what I've heard, yes!

Well, its tedious and the sex is dwindeling, so from what I've heard, yes!