Oh come on, if you're going to get a vibrator, at least get one called 'The Horse.'

Quote by Samantha Jones

Topics: Samantha Jones Quotes

Hey, you almost masturbated, he almost got it up, together you almost had sex.

Hey, you almost masturbated, he almost got it up, together you almost had sex.

I'm a trisexual. I'll try anything once.

I'm a trisexual. I'll try anything once.

I spent the last two hours f**king with no finale.

I spent the last two hours f**king with no finale.

Transexuals. Chicks with d**ks. Boobs on top, balls down below.

Transexuals. Chicks with d**ks. Boobs on top, balls down below.

Hi, my name is Samantha and I am a love-aholic

Hi, my name is Samantha and I am a love-aholic

I don't know how you people do it! All that emotional chow chow, it's exhausting!

I don't know how you people do it! All that emotional chow chow, it's exhausting!

Can we cut the cake? I have a three-way to go to.

Can we cut the cake? I have a three-way to go to.

Well, I'll admit I have had to polish myself off once or twice, but yes!...

Well, I'll admit I have had to polish myself off once or twice, but yes!...

I think I have monogamy. I caught it from you people.

I think I have monogamy. I caught it from you people.

Last night, I could not stop thinking about a Big Mac. I finally had to...

Last night, I could not stop thinking about a Big Mac. I finally had to...

Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me.

Fuck me badly once, shame on you. Fuck me badly twice, shame on me.

Emotional" is just code for "I don't want to hire a woman.

A guy can just as easily dump you if you fuck him on the first...

A guy can just as easily dump you if you fuck him on the first...

I take offense at that generalisation. Not all women sit around and obsess about men,...

I take offense at that generalisation. Not all women sit around and obsess about men,...

No one thinks it's narcissistic when you get your seventh grade picture taken.

No one thinks it's narcissistic when you get your seventh grade picture taken.

Well it's about f**kin time. Get over here and do me.

Well it's about f**kin time. Get over here and do me.

Who cares what you are just enjoy it!

Who cares what you are just enjoy it!

Well, its tedious and the sex is dwindeling, so from what I've heard, yes!

Well, its tedious and the sex is dwindeling, so from what I've heard, yes!

Honey, what's the point of being in the suburbs if you're not going to f**k...

Honey, what's the point of being in the suburbs if you're not going to f**k...

He's a guy. They don't talk, they fight. It's all that crazy testosterone.

He's a guy. They don't talk, they fight. It's all that crazy testosterone.