If you were to open up a baby's head -- and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should -- you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Baby Quotes, Funny Quotes

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

In fact, just about all the major natural attractions you find in the West- the...

In fact, just about all the major natural attractions you find in the West- the...

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in...

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in...

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a...

Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a...

If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.

If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count...

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count...

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it,...

We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it,...

I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not...

I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not...

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks...

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks...

The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and...

The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and...

The Internet: Transforming Society and Shaping the Future Through Chat

The Internet: Transforming Society and Shaping the Future Through Chat

The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about...

The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about...

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument...

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument...

Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite...

Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite...

Skiers view snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd.

Skiers view snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd.

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic...

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic...

The problem with winter sports is that, follow me closely here, they generally take place...

The problem with winter sports is that, follow me closely here, they generally take place...

I think we are trying to run the space age with horse and buggy moral...

I think we are trying to run the space age with horse and buggy moral...

The passions grafted on wounded pride are the most inveterate; they are green and vigorous...

The passions grafted on wounded pride are the most inveterate; they are green and vigorous...

Yet all how beautiful! Pillars of pearl Propping the cliffs above, stalactites bright From the...

Yet all how beautiful! Pillars of pearl Propping the cliffs above, stalactites bright From the...