Quotes by Jack Handy

I think a good product would be Baby Duck Hat. It's a fake baby duck,...

#Love

If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying forward into...

#Love

If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people,...

#Love

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And...

#Love

Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights,even if you...

#Love

Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and...

#Ambition

It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But...

#Angels, #Funny

I don't like small birds. They hop around so merrily outside my window, looking so...

#Animals

To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there's no music, no choreography, and the...

#Boxing

If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and...

#Cowardice, #Danger

If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and...

#Cowardice, #Danger

I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I...

#Opera