Quotes by Henry Youngman

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.

#Money

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, 'There's water in the...

#Love

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to...

#Marriage

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

#Affection, #Love, #Meaning

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no...

#Major Holidays

I've got all the money I'll ever need; if I die by four O'clock

#Money

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

#Marriage, #Secrets

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

#Affection, #Houses, #Love

A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

#Funny, #Teacher

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up they have no holidays.

#Funny, #Holiday