For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!

Quote by Jay Leno

Topics: Jay Leno Quotes

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue...

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue...

Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia...

Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia...

Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia...

Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia...

Politics is just show business for ugly people

Politics is just show business for ugly people

The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don't want their team to be associated...

The Washington Bullets are changing their name. They don't want their team to be associated...

Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors.

Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors.

Scientists are complaining that the new Dinosaur movie shows dinosaurs with lemurs, who didn't evolve...

Scientists are complaining that the new Dinosaur movie shows dinosaurs with lemurs, who didn't evolve...

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that...

The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that...

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife...

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife...

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue...

The crime problem in New York is getting really serious. The other day the Statue...

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect...

The Pentagon still has not given a name to the Iraqi war. Somehow 'Operation Re-elect...

If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.

If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of LA in the next election....

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of LA in the next election....

Bob Dole revealed he is one of the test subjects for Viagra. He said on...

Bob Dole revealed he is one of the test subjects for Viagra. He said on...

Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following...

Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following...

The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack...

The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack...

Forty million Americans smoked marijuana; the only ones who didn't like it were Judge Ginsberg,...

Forty million Americans smoked marijuana; the only ones who didn't like it were Judge Ginsberg,...

Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together....

Today, one year after their divorce, Pamela and Tommy Lee announced they're getting back together....

I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.

I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

Divorce is a game played by lawyers.

A highbrow is a man who has found something more interesting than women

A highbrow is a man who has found something more interesting than women