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Nobody cares that youre smart and nobody cares that your kids dont have bruises.

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Nobody cares that youre smart and nobody cares that your kids dont have bruises.

Hold up your cups and sing along, to one more drinking song.

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Hold up your cups and sing along, to one more drinking song.

The worse you are at thinking, the better you are at drinking.

The worse you are at thinking, the better you are at drinking.

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin.

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I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin.

I dont drink to get drunk. Thats just not cute.

I dont drink to get drunk. Thats just not cute.

I know folks all have a tizzy about it, but I like a little bourbon...

I know folks all have a tizzy about it, but I like a little bourbon...

Drunkards are doomed to hell, so men declare, Believe it not, 'tis but a foolish...

Drunkards are doomed to hell, so men declare, Believe it not, 'tis but a foolish...

It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of...

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It is well to remember that there are five reasons for drinking: the arrival of...

Let us be lazy in everything, except in loving and drinking, except in being lazy.

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Let us be lazy in everything, except in loving and drinking, except in being lazy.

Better to sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian.

Better to sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian.

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

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Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

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Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

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An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

Brewers enjoy working to make beer as much as drinking beer instead of working .

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Brewers enjoy working to make beer as much as drinking beer instead of working .

If they don't want to pay for it, they can stop drinking it.

If they don't want to pay for it, they can stop drinking it.

If they don't want to pay for it, they can stop drinking it.

If they don't want to pay for it, they can stop drinking it.

We know smoking tobacco is not good for kids, but a lot of other things...

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We know smoking tobacco is not good for kids, but a lot of other things...

I am awake, I might as well be drinking

I am awake, I might as well be drinking