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Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father...

Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father...

Old is always fifteen years from now.

Old is always fifteen years from now.

People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself....

People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself....

Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality?...

Poets have said that the reason to have children is to give yourself immortality. Immortality?...

Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is...

Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is...

A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely...

A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely...

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the...

A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the...

Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his...

Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his...

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and...

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and...

You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise...

You know the only people who are always sure about the proper way to raise...

As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally,...

As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally,...

Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.

Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them.

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.

Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them...

Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them...

Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.

Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing.

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love...

Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love...

I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the...

I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the...

I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same...

I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same...