Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined as a person who remembers when there was no Velcro.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Advice Quotes

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety...

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety...

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish...

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish...

If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for...

If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for...

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count...

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count...

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to...

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to...

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as...

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as...

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks...

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks...

Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per...

Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per...

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads,...

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads,...

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks...

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks...

If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I...

If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I...

In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up...

In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up...

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can...

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can...

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined...

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined...

The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.

The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.

I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.

I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.

Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.

Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.

If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for...

If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for...

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.