You sound like Jason Bourne, man. You don't know where you're going, no ID. -Peter Highman

Quote by Due Date

Topics: Due Date Quotes

Unfortunately, I need you to drive. I can't because I'm on vicodin, I'm not supposed...

Unfortunately, I need you to drive. I can't because I'm on vicodin, I'm not supposed...

Nothin' he loved more than jazz music and womens titties. -Ethan Tremblay

Nothin' he loved more than jazz music and womens titties. -Ethan Tremblay

You better change yourself before you wreck yourself. -Ethan Tremblay

You better change yourself before you wreck yourself. -Ethan Tremblay

Wow, I've been called a lot of things, man. But inappropriate...that's some fucked up shit,...

Wow, I've been called a lot of things, man. But inappropriate...that's some fucked up shit,...

Oh, that's me. I'm just masturbating. Well, if you keep interrupting me it will take...

Oh, that's me. I'm just masturbating. Well, if you keep interrupting me it will take...

Yeah. Well, I was in stealth mode. Still got the scarf on my head and...

Yeah. Well, I was in stealth mode. Still got the scarf on my head and...

Ethan, I know you made it up. It's your fucking stage name. Why did you...

Ethan, I know you made it up. It's your fucking stage name. Why did you...

What are you, my fucking boss? You make the hours here? I say we close,...

What are you, my fucking boss? You make the hours here? I say we close,...

I got ninety friends on Facebook, twelve of them are pending, but I got ninety...

I got ninety friends on Facebook, twelve of them are pending, but I got ninety...

You were like a fucking commando! You were a comanche warrior. -Peter Highman

You were like a fucking commando! You were a comanche warrior. -Peter Highman

Ethan, you broke the seal when you poured out the coffee, then you poured your...

Ethan, you broke the seal when you poured out the coffee, then you poured your...

No, no, no, no! His dad is the coffee. He passed away and his remains...

No, no, no, no! His dad is the coffee. He passed away and his remains...

Why? Because, it's a picture of yourself. Anyone can take a picture in a beautiful...

Why? Because, it's a picture of yourself. Anyone can take a picture in a beautiful...

Sorry. I'm a deep sleeper, it's a condition. You know when they say; 'I think...

Sorry. I'm a deep sleeper, it's a condition. You know when they say; 'I think...

Let me talk to her. Do you have a hairdresser out west? I just go...

Let me talk to her. Do you have a hairdresser out west? I just go...

Let me give you a little bit of friendly advice, nobody who calls themselves Hollywood...

Let me give you a little bit of friendly advice, nobody who calls themselves Hollywood...

You Americano's sneak into our country, bring drugs, party. You sleep with our women. -Federali...

You Americano's sneak into our country, bring drugs, party. You sleep with our women. -Federali...

Have you ever seen the movie Forrest Gump? He ran across the U.S. and he...

Have you ever seen the movie Forrest Gump? He ran across the U.S. and he...

Okay guys, we need to get out there. Really need to get going. Paul what...

Okay guys, we need to get out there. Really need to get going. Paul what...

Okay, you just look really official. And you know if I ask you if you're...

Okay, you just look really official. And you know if I ask you if you're...