Why don't you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini?

Quote by Robert Benchley

Topics: Robert Benchley Quotes

We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs...

We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs...

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of...

A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of...

A man of forty today has nothing to worry him but falling hair, inability to...

A man of forty today has nothing to worry him but falling hair, inability to...

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that...

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that...

Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street...

Nothing makes a man feel older than to hear a band coming up the street...

The free-lance writer is the person who is paid per piece or per word or...

The free-lance writer is the person who is paid per piece or per word or...

If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back...

If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back...

The freelance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or...

The freelance writer is a man who is paid per piece or per word or...

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.

At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in...

At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in...

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive,...

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive,...

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to...

There are two kinds of people in this world - those who divide everything into...

There are two kinds of people in this world - those who divide everything into...

We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.

We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.

The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.

The biggest obstacle to professional writing is the necessity for changing a typewriter ribbon.

After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his...

After an author has been dead for some time, it becomes increasingly difficult for his...

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left...

I have been told by hospital authorities that more copies of my works are left...