When I text someone and they dont text me back, I automatically assume that they probably fainted from excitement.

Topics: Facebook Status Quotes

Daydreaming while you're reading, then having to re-read what you just read.

Daydreaming while you're reading, then having to re-read what you just read.

When a waitress tells me the plate is hot I can't help but touch it...

When a waitress tells me the plate is hot I can't help but touch it...

It's a Facebook status not a diary. Learn the difference....

It's a Facebook status not a diary. Learn the difference....

Dear life, when I asked if my day could get any worse, it was a...

Dear life, when I asked if my day could get any worse, it was a...

I wont block you or delete you. Im keeping you there so you will be...

I wont block you or delete you. Im keeping you there so you will be...

'Results may vary.' means that it probably wont work for you at all.

'Results may vary.' means that it probably wont work for you at all.

Texting me with a signature, just got you added to the block list. Have a...

Texting me with a signature, just got you added to the block list. Have a...

I hate it when I am singing a song and the artist gets the words...

I hate it when I am singing a song and the artist gets the words...

That awkward moment when you realize you've kept talking even after your call dropped out...

That awkward moment when you realize you've kept talking even after your call dropped out...

When your girlfriend has Taylor Swift lyrics as her status. Either you've done something very...

When your girlfriend has Taylor Swift lyrics as her status. Either you've done something very...

Making a good Facebook status and then the next day you see it on someone...

Making a good Facebook status and then the next day you see it on someone...

They say real girls ain't never perfect, perfect girls ain't never real.

They say real girls ain't never perfect, perfect girls ain't never real.

I've been in relationships, but I'd rather be alone. If a guy can't treat me...

I've been in relationships, but I'd rather be alone. If a guy can't treat me...

Does anyone else get bothered by that last inch the shower curtain wont cover?

Does anyone else get bothered by that last inch the shower curtain wont cover?

Who else sneaks in their own candy to the movie theater? 10$ for a bag...

Who else sneaks in their own candy to the movie theater? 10$ for a bag...

Trying to accomplish a task before the microwave hits 0 like your life depends on...

Trying to accomplish a task before the microwave hits 0 like your life depends on...

I'm not afraid of heights, deep water, or love. I'm afraid of falling, drowning, and...

I'm not afraid of heights, deep water, or love. I'm afraid of falling, drowning, and...

Letting the water run down my arms when I'm in the shower so it looks...

Letting the water run down my arms when I'm in the shower so it looks...