We got new advice as to what motivated man to walk upright: to free his hands for masturbation.

Quote by Jane Wagner

Topics: Funny Quotes, Single Quotes

The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool.

The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool.

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.

They asked me once my thoughts about infinity, and I told em with all I...

They asked me once my thoughts about infinity, and I told em with all I...

We speculated what it was like before we got language skills. When we humans had...

We speculated what it was like before we got language skills. When we humans had...

When you are enjoying life time flies by, when you are not it stands still,...

When you are enjoying life time flies by, when you are not it stands still,...

A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my...

A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my...

The hardest part about being a kid is knowing you have got your whole life...

The hardest part about being a kid is knowing you have got your whole life...

When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic.

When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic.

A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my...

A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my...

I bet the worst part about dying is the part where your whole life passes...

I bet the worst part about dying is the part where your whole life passes...

All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should...

All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should...

Lifes greatest thoughts usually come to you when you forget youre thinking.

Lifes greatest thoughts usually come to you when you forget youre thinking.

As long as your going to be thinking anyway, think big.

As long as your going to be thinking anyway, think big.

Honestly, at one time I though Babe Ruth was a cartoon character. I really did,...

Honestly, at one time I though Babe Ruth was a cartoon character. I really did,...

I just think it's important to be direct and honest with people about why you're...

I just think it's important to be direct and honest with people about why you're...

No doubt another may also think for me; but it is not therefore desirable that...

No doubt another may also think for me; but it is not therefore desirable that...

At the age of 20, we don't care what the world thinks of us; at...

At the age of 20, we don't care what the world thinks of us; at...

Don't think. Thinking is the enemy of creativity. It's self-conscious, and anything self-conscious is lousy....

Don't think. Thinking is the enemy of creativity. It's self-conscious, and anything self-conscious is lousy....

Don't think, just do.

Don't think, just do.

There is an art of reading, as well as an art of thinking, and an...

There is an art of reading, as well as an art of thinking, and an...