We got new advice as to what motivated man to walk upright: to free his hands for masturbation.

Quote by Jane Wagner

Topics: Funny Quotes, Single Quotes

I bet the worst part about dying is the part where your whole life passes...

I bet the worst part about dying is the part where your whole life passes...

A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my...

A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my...

The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool.

The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool.

A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my...

A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my...

When you are enjoying life time flies by, when you are not it stands still,...

When you are enjoying life time flies by, when you are not it stands still,...

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.

The hardest part about being a kid is knowing you have got your whole life...

The hardest part about being a kid is knowing you have got your whole life...

Lifes greatest thoughts usually come to you when you forget youre thinking.

Lifes greatest thoughts usually come to you when you forget youre thinking.

They asked me once my thoughts about infinity, and I told em with all I...

They asked me once my thoughts about infinity, and I told em with all I...

We speculated what it was like before we got language skills. When we humans had...

We speculated what it was like before we got language skills. When we humans had...

When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic.

When we talk to God, we're praying. When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic.

All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should...

All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should...