Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.

Quote by Ambrose Bierce

Topics: Funny Quotes, Thanksgiving Quotes

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon...

Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon...

PATRIOTISM, n. Combustible rubbish read to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his...

PATRIOTISM, n. Combustible rubbish read to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his...

Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.

Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.

TRUST, n. In American politics, a large corporation composed in greater part of thrifty working...

TRUST, n. In American politics, a large corporation composed in greater part of thrifty working...

Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.

Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.

ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so...

ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so...

Doubt begins only at the last frontiers of what is possible.

Doubt begins only at the last frontiers of what is possible.

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving...

Wit - the salt with which the American humorist spoils his intellectual cookery by leaving...

Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

When you doubt, abstain.

When you doubt, abstain.

LONGEVITY, n. Uncommon extension of the fear of death.

LONGEVITY, n. Uncommon extension of the fear of death.

Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

Patriotism is as fierce as a fever, pitiless as the grave, blind as a stone,...

Patriotism is as fierce as a fever, pitiless as the grave, blind as a stone,...

Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself...

Vote: the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself...

Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so...

Alliance - in international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so...

Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.

Revolution, n. In politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.

WASHINGTONIAN, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage...

WASHINGTONIAN, n. A Potomac tribesman who exchanged the privilege of governing himself for the advantage...

The real truth of the matter is, as you and I know, that a financial...

The real truth of the matter is, as you and I know, that a financial...

The reality is that zero defects in products plus zero pollution plus zero risk on...

The reality is that zero defects in products plus zero pollution plus zero risk on...