Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.

Quote by Ambrose Bierce

Topics: Funny Quotes, Thanksgiving Quotes

Tariff: a scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the...

Tariff: a scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the...

Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of...

Forgetfulness - a gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of...

Incompatibility: In matrimony, a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.

Incompatibility: In matrimony, a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.

Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or...

Curiosity, n. An objectionable quality of the female mind. The desire to know whether or...

COMMERCE, n. A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of...

COMMERCE, n. A kind of transaction in which A plunders from B the goods of...

Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example...

Belladonna, n.: In Italian a beautiful lady; in English a deadly poison. A striking example...

Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad,...

Edible, adj.: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad,...

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern...

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern...

Infidel: In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople,...

Infidel: In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople,...

An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in...

An egotist is a person of low taste - more interested in himself than in...

Impartial - unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of...

Impartial - unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of...

Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.

Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.

Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the...

Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the...

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as...

Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as...

YOUTH, n. The Period of Possibility, when Archimedes finds a fulcrum, Cassandra has a following...

YOUTH, n. The Period of Possibility, when Archimedes finds a fulcrum, Cassandra has a following...

Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to...

Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to...

TROGLODYTE, n. Specifically, a cave-dweller of the paleolithic period, after the Tree and before the...

TROGLODYTE, n. Specifically, a cave-dweller of the paleolithic period, after the Tree and before the...

Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the...

Sabbath - a weekly festival having its origin in the fact that God made the...

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.