There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend.

Quote by Jack Nicholson

Topics: Jack Nicholson Quotes

I think that's what distinguishes Schmidt, really. In the movies now, so much of what...

I think that's what distinguishes Schmidt, really. In the movies now, so much of what...

I never had a policy about marriage. I got married very young in life and...

I never had a policy about marriage. I got married very young in life and...

I'm an actor who they said was wrinkled and balding and everything else when I...

I'm an actor who they said was wrinkled and balding and everything else when I...

There is no way you can get people to believe you on screen if they...

There is no way you can get people to believe you on screen if they...

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out...

When I was in high school, I earned the pimple award and every other gross-out...

I've been too many places. I'm like the bad penny.

I've been too many places. I'm like the bad penny.

I have a lot of vanity.

I have a lot of vanity.

I know I can act. There aren't too many other jobs I know how to...

I know I can act. There aren't too many other jobs I know how to...

In other words, I wouldn't like to be an actor if I could only be...

In other words, I wouldn't like to be an actor if I could only be...

Once you've been really bad in a movie, there's a certain kind of fearlessness you...

Once you've been really bad in a movie, there's a certain kind of fearlessness you...

Now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of...

Now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of...

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman.

I only take Viagra when I'm with more than one woman.

Because you know, down deep in my heart, when all is said and done, I...

Because you know, down deep in my heart, when all is said and done, I...

In this industry, there are only two ways up the ladder. Rung by rung or...

In this industry, there are only two ways up the ladder. Rung by rung or...

In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking...

In my last year of school, I was voted Class Optimist and Class Pessimist. Looking...

Frankly, I got into the movies because I like the movies a lot.

Frankly, I got into the movies because I like the movies a lot.

Early on, if I was alone two three nights in a row, I'd start writing...

Early on, if I was alone two three nights in a row, I'd start writing...

I'm not hard to get along with.

I'm not hard to get along with.

Just let the wardrobe do the acting.

Just let the wardrobe do the acting.

Financially, I've lost money and made money, but I know my way around financially.

Financially, I've lost money and made money, but I know my way around financially.